Jovan bez Zemlje i Aleksandar bez Struje

Autor:Draža Petrović

Ima ljudi koji misle da je jedina sličnost između premijera Vučića i princa Karađorđevića to što se obojica zovu Aleksandar, s tim što onaj drugi duguje 70.000 evra za struju, a onaj prvi nikome nikada ništa nije dugovao, već svi duguju njemu.

Kada je pre neki dan uzviknuo: “Princ Aleksandar da plati 70.000 evra za struju”, premijer Vučić je bio potpuno u pravu. Naravno, ukoliko se ne setite nekoliko bizarnih epizoda iz raskošne dužničke karijere premijera Vučića, dok je još bio samo Vučić.

Svojevermeno je B92 otkrio da Vučić nije plaćao račune Infostana od maja 1999. do 17. avgusta 2004, kada je komplet dug isplatio, pošto se baš u tom momentu kandidovao za gradonačelnika Beograda, a glupo je da potencijalni gradonačelnik duguje silne novce za centralno grejanje, vodu, odnošenje smeća i čišćenje zgrade.

Posle mu je Telekom Srbije oduzeo kućni telefonski broj jer 15 meseci nije plaćao račune za telefon sa kog je, kako je utvrđeno, najviše zvao Čikago i Republiku Srpsku, destinacije gde živi veliki broj četnika, koji su bili u fokusu njegove tadašnje životne preokupacije.

– Ponekad se dogodi da neka firma ili osoba naprave ogroman račun, ali sa većinom njih postignemo dogovor. Aleksandar Vučić nas na neki način ignoriše, tako da smo morali da primenimo redovan postupak, izjavila je tada neka službenica Telekoma za Blic, ne računajući da će sličnu taktiku ignorancije primeniti i princ Aleksandar desetak godina kasnije, s tim što on, za razliku od Vučića, ima opravdanje.

Još nije naučio kako se na srpskom kaže Elektrodistribucija.

Dok Vučić već 40 godina ume tečno da izgovori komplikovane reči: Infostan i Telekom.

– Imam problem sa strijama. Juri me Elektromasturbacija – poverio se ovih dana najbližim saradnicima princ Aleksandar, što u prevodu znači: “Imam problem sa strujom. Juri me Elektrodistribucija”.

Princ Aleksandar je preteča Google translejtera. Svi koji se usude da sa njim stupe u konverzaciju na maternjem jeziku, dobijaju uputstvo karakteristično za Guglov prevodilac, gde piše: morate znati da rečenice koje on prevede iz jednog u drugi jezik mogu u izgubiti smisao, pa se ne preporučuje njegova upotreba u slučajevima gde vam treba pouzdani prevod.

Prvi susret princa Aleksandra sa podanicima, podvučen uzvikom “Ja vaša krlj” (u prevodu na srpski: “Ja sam vaš kralj”) desio se na nekom mitingu DEPOS-a pre 24 godine, i tad je to delovalo simpatično, dok petnaestak godina kasnije, na nekom ustaničkom hepeningu u Orašcu nije svima stavio do znanja da mu sve bolje ide: “Ne smemo zaboraviti naše prkete, prekete i preteke”- objasnio je tada, što bi u prevodu otprilike značilo: “Ne smemo zaboraviti naše pretke”. Potom je izjavio: “Drago mi je da sam se vratila u moja postojebina”, što u prevodu znači: “Drago mi je da sam se vratio u moju postojbinu”, da bi razdragane Čačane naposletku pozdravio uzvikom: “Dragi moji Čečeni!”

I kako od čoveka koga podanici ne razlikuju od Guglovog translejtera možete očekivati da plati struju?

Sledi nedvosmislen zaključak – iako nije poznato da su članovi trupe Monti Pajton, Mister Bin, Žika Obretković ili Travolta iz Borče grede bili članovi porodice Karađorđević, u ovoj dinastiji nekim čudom pojavio se jedan primerak koji izgleda ništa nije nasledio od osobina svojih predaka, što će reći preteka, prketa i preketa, već je sve kraljevske osobine nasledio od gore pomenutih. Koji, dokazano, nisu bili kraljevi, a nisu mu bili ni preteci, preketeci i prteci. Od preteka, prketa i preketa, nasledio je jedino prestižnu titulu Nj.K.V. Te je legendarni NJ.K.V., živi dokaz da se plava krv ne povuče baš uvek od preketa, prketa i preteka, postao aktivni učesnik života republikanske monarhije poznatije kao Srbija.

Na koju je verovatno mislio Ričard Treći kada je onomad viknuo: “Kraljevstvo za konja!” Samo što je on nudio celo kraljevstvo u zamenu za jednog konja, dok u Srbiji svaki konj može da zajaše celo kraljevstvo, pa je otud u svetskim okvirima ta mala država već 26 godina poznata kao idealno kraljevstvo za svakog konja koji pobedi na izborima. Srećna okolnost je, pak, da po Ustavu konji ne mogu da učestvuju na izborima, ali utisak širokih narodnih masa ponekad je varljiv.

Opet, okolnost da Toma Nikolić neodoljivo podseća na englesku kraljicu toliko je oduševila princa Čarlsa da mu je odmah po ulasku u Predsedništvo Srbije skočio u zagrljaj i viknuo: “Mama!”

– Ja ne mama, ja muško, ja tata! – objasnio je iznenađeni predsednik Toma i uručio mu ćirilično izdanje sabranih dela Vilijema Šekspira, mada se prethodno dvoumio da li da mu pokloni i ćirilično izdanje latinice.

– Ouuu, Šekspir! Koja vam se Šekspirova drama najviše dopada? – bio je znatiželjan princ Čarls.

– Ja najviše volim onu Šekspirovu dramu “Biti il’ ne biti”. Omiljena mi je i ona drama “Ima nešto trulo u državi Danskoj” – rekao je samouvereno predsednik Toma, naš poznati šekspirolog, koji se u tom momentu nije setio da mu je omiljena Šekspirova komedija “Kraljevstvo za konja”.

Još kada se u Predsedništvu Srbije pročulo da će im u martovsku posetu stići jedan princ u pratnji kamile, svi su bili ubeđeni da je u pitanju neki arapski investitor, pošto samo arapski prinčevi sa sobom vode i kamile.

– A kažite mi, je l’ kamila dvogrba ili jednogrba? – ćaskao je predsednik Toma sa protokolom Bakingemske palate, odakle su mu objasnili da kamila nije ni dvogrba bi jednogrba, već je Kamila vojvotkinja od Kornvola.

– Vojvotkinja od Kornfleksa! Kakva čast! Pa mi smo kolege. I ja sam vojvoda, znate – rekao je predsednik Toma na upoznavanju sa Kamilom, a onda predstavio svoju bolju polovinu, zvanu Dragica: “Vojvotkinja od vojvode. Ukratko, moja žena!”

Princ Čarls je posle od premijera Vučića na poklon dobio ikonu Belog anđela, što je neka varijanta premijera Vučića kad obuče belo odelo. A od princa Aleksandra princ Čarls dobio je uramljenu ikonu tarifnog brojila sa Belog dvora.

Čarls, istina, nije imao pojma da običan strujomer igra tako veliku ulogu u freskoslikarstvu dinastije Karađorđević, pa je obećao da će ikonu tarifnog brojila sa Belog dvora okačiti na počasno mesto u Bakingemskoj palati.

U razgovoru sa princom Aleksandrom o čestim restrikcijama na Belom dvoru, Čarls je shvatio i da engleski kralj Jovan bez Zemlje nije tako loše prošao u životu. Da je živeo u Srbiji, garantovano bi se zvao Jovan bez Struje.

– Bez kralja ne valja. A ne valja ni bez struje – rekao je na kraju razgovara sa princom Čarlsom srpski monarh Aleksandar bez Struje.

Dok je drugi srpski monarh, Aleksandar bez Telefona, poznat i kao Aleksandar bez Infostana, i dalje besno vikao: “Plati struju!”

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  126. Hands down, Apple’s application retailer wins through a mile. It really is a huge alternative of all types of applications vs a as an alternative unsatisfied decision of a handful for Zune. Microsoft is made up of plans, specifically in just the realm of online games, however I am not certainly I would require toward guess on the long run if this element is necessary to by yourself. The iPod is a a great deal improved preference within that situation.

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  132. Apple already is made up of Rhapsody as an app, which is a outstanding begin, still it is now hampered by the incapability towards keep domestically upon your iPod, and consists of a dismal 64kbps bit cost. If this improvements, then it will considerably negate this comfort for the Zune, yet the Ten tunes for every month will nevertheless be a significant moreover in Zune Pass’ prefer.

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  136. Apple currently contains Rhapsody as an app, which is a fantastic commence, however it is at this time hampered through the incapacity towards keep locally upon your iPod, and consists of a dismal 64kbps bit price. If this adjustments, then it will relatively negate this usefulness for the Zune, nonetheless the 10 music for every thirty day period will still be a large in addition in Zune Pass’ want.

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  140. The fresh new Zune browser is incredibly good, nonetheless not as Wonderful as the iPod’s. It works well, however just isn’t as prompt as Safari, and consists of a clunkier interface. If oneself once in a while system upon taking the website browser which is not an issue, however if you might be developing in direction of read through the net alot against your PMP then the iPod’s much larger screen and far better browser might be necessary.

  141. Apple presently consists of Rhapsody as an application, which is a great get started, however it is at the moment hampered by means of the incapacity in direction of keep regionally upon your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps little bit cost. If this adjustments, then it will somewhat negate this comfort for the Zune, but the Ten audio for each thirty day period will even now be a substantial additionally in Zune Pass’ desire.

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  156. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

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  158. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

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  176. If you might be however upon the fence: seize your favorite earphones, intellect down toward a Most straightforward Invest in and check with towards plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one seems improved towards by yourself, and which interface helps make on your own smile excess. Then you’ll understand which is directly for your self.

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  178. Sorry for the significant critique, nevertheless I’m fairly loving the refreshing Zune, and count on this, as nicely as the high quality critiques some other us residents have created, will support your self determine if it’s the directly selection for you.

  179. Palms down, Apple’s application retailer wins by means of a mile. It’s a significant alternative of all styles of apps vs a really unhappy conclusion of a handful for Zune. Microsoft consists of Ideas, particularly inside the realm of online games, yet I am not certainly I might have to have in the direction of bet on the foreseeable future if this portion is vital in direction of by yourself. The iPod is a a lot improved preference inside of that scenario.

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  192. This is becoming a little bit additional subjective, still I much choose the Zune Current market. The interface is colourful, includes even further aptitude, and some great functions which includes ‘Mixview’ that make it possible for by yourself all of a sudden perspective related albums, music, or other consumers similar toward what you’re listening towards. Clicking on a person of these will middle on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will appear into impression, permitting oneself in the direction of navigate near exploring via very similar artists, songs, or buyers. Talking of buyers, the Zune “Social” is in addition very good enjoyable, enabling yourself discover other people with shared tastes and turning into pals with them. Your self then can listen toward a playlist generated based on an amalgamation of what all your pals are listening towards, which is way too remarkable. All those nervous with privateness will be relieved toward notice your self can reduce the general public from watching your individual listening behaviors if you so pick.

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  195. In between me and my spouse we have owned extra MP3 players higher than the years than I can rely, such as Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, and so on. Still, the very last several a long time I’ve solved down towards just one line of gamers. Why? Considering the fact that I was delighted to discover how well-designed and entertaining toward seek the services of the underappreciated (and greatly mocked) Zunes are.

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